The JLC Chapter 1: Gritty Chapter

Dinoman was sitting in front of his computer. His eyes stare blankly into the bright, eye-irritating screen. Suddenly, the door flew open and Lily walked in, carrying a tray full of cups of green tea. The Dinoman was of course surprised. “Can’t you see I’m reading” he said. Lily was embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she replied. “I didn’t know you were busy. Oh, by the way, here’s a cup of tea.” She said this as she gave the cup of tea to Dinoman. Then the dinosaur freak went back to work.

Meanwhile in the living room, Actar was busy watching Lucky Star while Nyanners was busy doing… well, stuff. After that, a package appeared in front of the JLC House’s front door. Nyanners went to pick the package up. In the control room (the very same room the Dinoman read his Cracked), the JLC opened the package, and in it lies a letter. The Dinoman picked it up and read it out loud.

Dear the JLC

You have heard about a creepy-ass business which sells human meat, right?

The first line made everyone’s hair to rise on their ends (and presumably made the Dinoman puke), but they continued to read the letter anyway.

Right now, there is a slaughterhouse in the middle of an old field, where the business thrives in selling human flesh. Your mission is to stop this terrible business once and for all.

The Dinoman thought for a second. “Where the hell we’re going to find a slaughterhouse like that?” he asked.

“I bet it’s in Texas,” Lily answered.


After the JLC arrived in Texas, they rolled out immediately to the operation point. “But first,” said Dinoman. “I’m going to read” However, before he even opened his laptop, he felt a sharp blow to the back. “Stop reading Cracked and get on with this mission!” yelled Lily. Dinoman responded, “OW! Why did you do that?”

One minute later, the team reached their destination. The Dinoman opened the door. A horrible smell wafted from beyond the door. “P.U. It sure smells like blood here.” The team walked in and saw blood splatters everywhere. “It’s worse than the Slaughterhouse haunted maze ride at Knott’s,” said the Dinoman. Suddenly, they heard a cry for help. “A damsel in distress!” said Dinoman. “Let’s rush in and save her!”

The JLC rushed in and found a girl crying and begging to be freed. “I don’t want to die in here,” cried the girl. The Dinoman pulled out his shotgun and shot at the chains that keep the poor thing up. “Thank you,” said the girl. “What is your name?” asked Lily kindly. “Shurelya,” the girl replied. “You can call me Shu.” “Welcome to the JLC,” said the Dinoman.

The JLC searched around the slaughterhouse, making the team look more like detectives rather than superheroes. “This is getting silly,” said Nyanners. “We should have found the person responsible minutes ago. I wanna go home, I’m so scared.” Then as she began to cry, something stopped the JLC right on their tracks.

“It’s you,” said Dinoman as he pointed his shotgun to the figure. “That’s right,” said the figure, “it’s me, the Tyrannosaurus, supreme leader of the Brotherhood of Man Eaters. The reason why I run this business is to sell human meat to our flesh-devouring beasts. Then I’ll become rich! Muahahahahahaha.”

“THEN PREPARE TO DIE!” shouted Actar at the top of his lungs, and the funny accent which had the evil Tyrannosaurus cracked up laughing. “Oops,” said Actar. “Did I mention that I have a funny accent?” Then, as the Tyrannosaurus laughed, he toppled into a conveyor belt, which led to a grinding machine, and you can guess the rest.


The JLC finally returned to their home. Lily and Shu went to Lily’s room so that they can play together. The Dinoman turned on the TV to see dinosaurs so that he could shout  “GALAXAUR!!!!!11” to them. Seeing the Dinoman doing this, Nyanners simply shooked her head and carried on with her stuff. This happened as the sun sets in the east.